15 June 2013

There was a pretty good storm here on Thursday..a mini-derecho, if you will. Last summer's storm put this new word into the vocabularies of many central Virginians. Thursday's storm was a watered down version of that.

I missed the entire thing. I was in clinic, taking care of my patients. I work in the basement level of my office building and I rarely see outside during the day. I was up and down the hall, and noticed from a distance that it had become very dark outside. I passed this dark window a couple more times, and then later when I passed yet again, my feet hurting now, it was bright again. The next morning in the paper I saw pictures of tress completely uprooted and fallen across the roads.

I feel like that's a good metaphor for my life at present. Like I am missing most things, save for a few foggy glances through a distant glass. I do not mean this to sound whiny, but don't we all feel whiny at times? It's the whole rat wheel thing. Get up, go to work, work all day, feel aggravated with bureaucracy and too much to do in too little time. Clock out and go home, go straight to the kitchen in work clothes and start pulling out something to make for dinner. Dishwasher, washer, give a kid a ride somewhere. Feel too tired to do anything else but to upstairs and flop on the bed with a book. Do it all over again.

It can start to feel stagnant and depressing.

I do have my card and button making, which is my little creative corner. Most recently, though, I feel like the time I spend there is stolen time, time I "should" be using for more useful things. I can't seem to find balance or peace. Probably just thinking too hard, again.

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